Light of my LIFE

We never think of LIGHT – Let it be day or night, the light is always there. It follows from the dawn to morning, afternoon to dusk, evening to night & again from night to dawn…But have you ever felt what would the feelings be when the LIGHT won’t exist? We can’t think of it even in our dreams. We know it’s a gift given by the so called NATURE to us. For me, the same goes on…

There was someone I always looked up in any situation. In a more appropriate manner it can be said HE was with ME in my every mood, every joy, every sorrow, every success, and every failure. HE used to be a part of me in every thought & activity of mine. Suddenly HE was gone. Without whom I couldn’t have imagined my existence, HE was gone. HE is my DAD.

Suddenly some curse fell upon me; I was compelled to be more mature, cleverer & more responsible. I just felt I was out of the track. No one was there to guide me, to compel me; to scold me & most importantly to LOVE ME.I had always been my FATHER`S GIRL.Everyone had sympathy for me & additionally burdened me with all their so called sentimental pressure.

I found no one to rely on. I just looked at my FAMILY (Mom, Sis & Bro) and something was groaning inside me. I don’t wanted people to sympathize me. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to realize the reason behind my groaning pain that I was undergoing . Was it for the loss of DAD or was I afraid of the whole circumstance? I just couldn’t understand. I was so immature!!

Being the eldest what should be done by me; was my first thought. I felt awkward. I have never reflected my life in this way before. I was pushed in darkness by the DESTINY to find the lights for not only myself but the people surrounding me. I felt I was lost.

Practically I started moving on, looking for a job. But in the heart I still stood at the verge of my extinction of my childhood & my childhood moaning at my father`s death. I was the most mature person from there on. I stood at planks of life maintaining the balance between the job, studies, family, relatives & so much other responsibilities. Something in me made me more & more determined & I was fighting every odd to reach my father`s dream – COMPANY SECRETARY.

Ultimately I reached my goal, my destiny. I CLEARED OFF MY FINALS. Was I satisfied? I gave the news of crossing the first milestone to everyone. Still I felt my success to be incomplete. I wanted to shout out my HEART…wanted HIM to know that “YES DAD, I HAVE DONE IT….!! I HAVE DONE IT FOR YOU.”