A ray of HOPE in scattering DARKNESS...

He came up to me and said, “You can be a good speaker” I stood there flabbergasted and thought, “Can I really be so?”

Being a good speaker is very important. I have to speak to the people as my job is such that I am management level of the company. 

I was aware of the fright that stole all the dreams from my eyes when I imagined of conducting Board Meeting in front of the Directors or any other such meetings. I understood that speaking in public forum was not an easy task.

Every single member applauded as He spoke on the podium. It was remarkable indeed not because he was an awesome speaker but a thought kept on running at the back of my mind. I was thinking at what on Earth I had done to get such person as my guide!!

I got him as mentor; guide and I feel that is a kind of remarkable achievement for me. I don’t understand that a person who has every little happiness of life and a lot more scope to earn more; let it be happiness or revenue ,how can he be such a great guide to a novice like me.

I joined Toastmasters, a club for public speaking. I had always been a person who had so much stage fright that it kept me away from the stage. This club was related to public speaking and I owe to my friend who introduced me to this club.

A public forum but it had so much of goodness in it that I decided to join it. The criticisms were made in such way that it helped only to improve and it did not demoralize.

A great friend of mine who always somehow managed to inspire and motivate took me there for a visit. I didn’t expect much help from my friend because I didn’t wanted to be depending on her. But there were again cards from the DESTINY and HE always knows what is good and how the things are to be placed on right path.

What I didn’t know is that my wishes had so much strength that I got nothing but the best. There was a lot of grudge in my heart that here also I will be over ruled by the people and I will be the back bencher. But my journey began with bang.

He came to fore front and simply guided me. Under his guidance I have started growing more and more and have become so organized that rather than dictating things, I have started accepting more.

In fact we had become such good friends that we share a lot. He doesn’t only guide me in playing roles or speeches but simply is helping in recognizing myself. Patience is one of the traits that help in earning toughest goal. But I am still to gain this trait and in midst of all this I am finding my own true self that has a lot of peace in its own self.

My thought process has become so organized that it runs on right track and I don’t need to run behind them to catch them. My thoughts just calms down whenever I am screwed and I can’t manage the things up to the mark.

I am amazed to see the radicle change that is coming in me. I am just awestruck the way things are improving and rather as a person I am improving.

Dealing with my thoughts was the most difficult task that I had. It was tough for me to handle the rejections and dejection. I always ran behind proving myself. But the things are changing now. I have started loving myself and it is just so wonderful. While I have so much positive people around me it is real difficult for the negative forces to strike me back again. Letting go but still holding on is the true faith that someone should have while loving someone.

 

Toastmasters are helping me to revive the true gift of life and that is happiness. Being happy without reason is the most difficult task and I am slowly mastering that art. Being at peace with self is the best thing that life can gift and I have suddenly received from nowhere.

There is always a point a person a place from where it’s important to start afresh. Leave all the old, rotten memoirs and move on to create new and fresh memories. That friend of mine brought the new dawn in my life and I owe to her as I turn to be more positive and innovative.

Life will move on and it will again take me to somewhere new. But one thing is for sure that the Toastmaster episode will be an episode is to be remembered for the years to come and I will owe for my life the people who are encouraging me to BE WHAT I AM.

SHE in midst of my BUSY LIFE..

I have felt those little hands touching me. When I was engrossed in reading my mails, I saw her, that Lilliputian was crawling towards me.

I looked at her. Her little self proudly announced her existence by thumping the hand on the cupboard, beside which she stood.

I was fascinated to see that little thing crouching and looking at me. The little hands have slowly taken the shape of the small hands. She wore a little pink frock with lots of curls around and her eyes were little bright pearls that were transfixed on me.

I looked at my screen and saw that the mail was already again crowded with new mails. I looked at the screen and just put the screen of the laptop down.

A lot of work has already been done for the day. There is no use in working so much; I thought myself. The pink lady stood behind the cupboard still thumping it with her hands. The bangle made the sound louder and it caught my attention more vividly than I have thought.

I put the laptop on the shelf and got down the couch to touch those little fingers, those little feet and the pink dress that adorn her to be more of a princess than a kid.

Slowly I slide down and looked at her charmingly. She had some kind charismatic charm in her. At the back of the mind there came thousands of words drooling down and there were little prayers from my side. I am not much friendly with the kids, please help me , ”O Lord..!!”

With very small steps she tried to travel the space that lay between two of us. Tumbling and stumbling down she came up to me.

I came more close to her slowly and slowly. Her glittering eyes were full of zeal as she saw me coming to her. As I came more and more closer to her I could smell the Johnson cream combined with the Amul milk. It was so ravishing, so natural.

I bend over my knees and tried to be at her height. She lost her balance at time but managed to come to me.

The closeness was such that I could feel the heat of her breath touching my face. I took her on my lap and watched her closely.

Her little fingers were not even half of mine. The little nails seemed to grow so slow that it couldn’t cover the tip of the finger. Her eyes smiled at me. Her little fingers touched my hairs and nose and cheeks. I could feel the warmth that flew from her body to mine.

I could say nothing while she kept smiling at me. Two drops of salted water fell on her little hands. She looked at my eyes. There was a strange softness that caused me to smile at her.

Her drooping eyes smiled again at me. And I felt COMPLETE with her.

Travelling higher without any lead...

The wishes always rise higher than the want. We are never satisfied let how much good the things may be.

There are small wishes which we always ask God to fulfil and slowly as we rise higher, we have more wishes that travel to become the desires.

Desire is just like a deep, dark secret. Our desires rise to touch the blue which is always covered with the fluffy clouds of imagination.

The strings of imagination touches the line of blue and the desires gets de shelved somewhere in between the clouds and the blue.

Desires pave their own path from real life to reel life. It makes our life more complicated and we are often restless while thinking how to achieve our desires rather than concentrating how to fulfil the basic needs of life.

Desires ultimately pamper us and our soul. The more we go on rising higher our wants go on increasing.

Acceptance of what we already have goes on missing in the midst of the thought what we don’t have.

As every individual have different personality, every individual have their own colours of ambition.

Feelings travel and the desires get flamed differently as the time passes by.

Every feeling is a negative or a positive thought. Desires are treated as the negative thoughts since it drags into the closed chambers of the greed which ultimately causes us to lose the thoughts on it.

Lost and found..in mid way..

I love my shoes one here and other there. I love my untidy table even where there are lot of papers, most of them useless. I love my pens here and there, I love my clothes handing from the side racks of the bed.

I just love as it is. I don’t keep my garments, my copies, my books properly. I am always running from one corner to the other corner of the house, searching every nook to find my lost treasure.

At the eve of my every birthday, I feel taking birth as cleanliness `freak’. But my resolutions are lost in the normal run of time.­

Often I get messed up with my things and I get myself in mess looking for my things. A lazy fellow scribbles more than dribble with belongings.

As I was running for my office as usual on Monday morning, I suddenly realised, “OH! Crap. .My metro card is missing. There was only 15mins left to go and now I started looking for the card.  ­­­­The search episode started with my bag, then purse, then diary, under the table, over the table & still couldn’t find it.

Ultimately I took my jeans that I had worn last day when I had used my card then I found that trouser was taken to be washed by the washer man. I breathe hard as there was only five minutes to go.

Now I was back to my old charismatic personality who knows nothing except shouting and grudging off.

Ultimately I found my card in my purse and I had no one to blame but me.