I searched here and there. I looked
over the horizon to the melting blue of the sky. What does my heart searches
for? I think it searches `YOU’. The presence of YOU is so important that it doesn’t
matter who is there or who will not be there. I miss you Dad.
Suddenly I am lost again and find
no meaning to any act that is going around me again and again. I see you in
dreams, innumerable time. But my dream seems to end as I open my eyes to find
you. Why is it I am just desperate to get you and still find myself lost again
and again?
I drift from the shore to find
you and then I rise again to fight back that monstrous past and it seems to be
so huge that I stand as tiny fellow in front of it.
But if I really feel that I need
to fight him back and stare at that big demon that tries to hold me. It
wrenches me and just blows me off to distance away from my immigration.
I was haunted by the black, huge
hands that rose to melt me and crumble me down into that gruffness that made me
stiff. I felt my neck getting stiffened as he gasped me so hard that I could
even not breathe. He clenched my throat and just pinned me down.
I was pressurized by the fluttering
birds whose chirps made me realize that I am still alive. I could not even
breathe but I knew somewhere that I was still breathing. A hope in disguise of
the air melt in my breathe as I tried to stand back and fight them.
I saw some familiar faces. They were
not of my family though. My whole family was moaning except the three people
who looked at me in despair. They wanted to help me but just couldn’t think how
they can help me. Even my pals were standing at far. I couldn’t read their
expression.
I was getting tired as I could
feel that the expectations were rising high and even there was mocking audience
who did nothing except jeering at me in disgust. As I was getting more and more
exhausted, the more proud the demon looked. He looked and laughed at me. I was
lost.
Suddenly I saw a tiny, thin boy
coming towards me. He stood close by and watched me with tearful eyes. Those
eyes did nothing but beckoned me to fight back that demon of past. I tried to
raise my hand to pound him back. But it was all in vain.
He lifted me up and threw me on
the sands with more force. I tried to feel the sand but I felt my head dizzying
off and it felt heavy, very heavy. I cried loud out of pain. I found the little
boy still standing for me.
I couldn’t even lift my head to
see the black living thing moving around me. I felt the pains & strains all
over my body. As I was about to get senseless, I heard a frail voices from far off.
It was coming from another fat girl and a boy with specs shouted the most along
with the feeble fellow.
I thought, “Was they cheering at
me?” or “Are they jeering at me?”
Some kind of magical effect
happened. I could not feel the pains. I felt to fight back again. I felt those
were some cheers that were only for ME. The monster of past have pinned me
down. I decided to rise back and fight.
I threw a handful of sand on his
face. I struck him hard on his face. He lost his sight for few minutes &
his nose started bleeding.
He caught me and threw me into
the dungeons of past that were dark and cold. I tried to regain my senses. There was a
small opening and a beam of light washed my face. I could hear faint voices of
the three kids who stood by me. But this time there was a dusky voice that woke
me up. I crawled through that opening out in the light again.
I found the owner of the dusky
voice was little, fat & dark girl. She was bellowing the most. She even
started challenging the giant on my behalf.
Those words, those cheers made me
to stand up again. I was prepared to fight back again. I fought with the beast
of past. He submerged in the ocean of the tears again and again. I fought back.
There was dark and then again the new dawn struck the sand and it turned into
golden. The glazing sun and the cheers made me to pull the demon down to feet. I
won. I moved on where my dreams awakened.
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