Being SANE when it is ought to be INSANE

Most of the things that happens every day in our lives leads us to be insane. But the question that came to my mind is that, “How many of us can be sane in the insane situation?”

The disturbances that happens every day in our lives is nothing but it relates to the ups and downs of lives. Often we fail to keep our temper under our control. But its strange that lately I have been seeing a numerous people who h keeps their temper calm.They wins over every negative aura and stands out to be more stronger and more considerate & kind.

But what if there is a series of negative acts taking place around you and there you seem to stand as a mere audience because you can do nothing except to accept the facts. There is sudden depression in the mind while the brain helps to combat the situation and at that point the problem starts. The negativity has a stronger hold on our mind rather than the positivity.

There were pangs of aggressive rage that was working in mind when I saw her in the bank. Suddenly I was taken back to five years where I had the memory of she being rude after destroying the strongest part of my existence.

The question that remains unanswered today is, “Do my anger helps me in this situation?” “Do my rage helps me to prosper?” The question kept triggering my mind & I couldn’t calm myself down.I was taken back to the negative cage.

 

The gloominess had sunk in till eternity and I was in the office collating some data of my losses. Ultimately I felt that there is always a handful of happiness while there is a bag of sadness in each of us lives.

 

A bag is usually heavy to lift and it droops us down to ponder around the past. Nothing seems to be certain when the uncertainty knocks us down.But what we forget is that there is no added advantage when it comes to dwelling in past.While if we can move on then we create new memories to put the old behind the bars of past.Being mad in the situations which goes out of hand is the basic nature of a human being.But in midst of all turmoil we need to be sane ie calm.

But the things around me has changed and it has moved on in its own pace .I simply realize that I can’t force the deer to be tortoise and the tortoise to be tiger.A person cannot be good for everyone.I cant change the nature of a person.He/She will be the way she/he had been in his/her life.

After a dark deep world, there lies a huge open expanse of life which makes us live along the darkest tunnel of life.But its important to understand that after every darkness there is a gush of light that sways us and instigates us to take risk in life.Life teaches us to react and its always the mind that helps to maintain the peace of heart.

Reminiscence ..of my love.

He had gifted me that which I had never thought he would gift. It was the smallest but the greatest treasure which I did hold on to closest of my heart. A ring, a simple platinum ring with diamonds.

As I lay awake in the bed wrapped with the white sheets, I could feel nothing except a traumatizing pain all through my body. I realized a needle had been struck in my head into my hand and I couldn’t even move. As I opened my eyes I saw a lady dressed in white standing near my bed.

The severe pain in my head dint allow me to sleep. I couldn’t feel any part of my body. I slept off. Next morning when I got up, I saw an old man standing by my bed side. A lady about the age of 60-65 yrs. sniffed off her nose on seeing me.

I looked at the lady. I thought of asking the lady about the reason for me being there. But I saw a grief seeping out of the eyes in form of tears. I looked at my right hand and the ring was still there.

The lady came towards me and said,” This is Mrs Martha. How are you?” I looked at them astonished,” I hope the pain is not much intolerable. “With a surprising tone, I tried to speak but I couldn’t. I heard the nurse stating her, “It’s just God`s grace that she has been saved. The way the truck had crushed off her car, it was a real challenge for us to save her. God bless you Mr & Mrs Martha.”

I couldn’t speak. I had lost my voice. In fact I dint even remember my name. I just looked at the sparking ring that let me into the blurred images of a dark man. I just couldn’t even remember his face.

Days passed on and I started recovering from the pain. Mr & Mrs Martha came on to visit me on regular basis. They called me Shiela as `S’ was engraved with diamond on the platinum ring.

I was released from the hospital after the period of two months. The fractures were cured. But still I searched for my identity. I stayed at the small village at the outskirts of Howrah. The mobile, i card had all been crushed to pieces that were the only option to find the identity.

At times I thought to click a picture of my own self to put in the paper so that my identity is revealed. But my all hopes were scattered to pieces when I saw my burnt face in the mirror.

I had no hope to get that dark man in my life. Ultimately Mr & Mrs Martha gave me a brilliant idea. The couple dint had any child of their own and they took me to be their daughter who had lost twenty years back

They suggested me to take the picture of my hand that had a wrist let and also the ring engraved with the letter `S’. A picture was taken but I couldn’t imagine how that dark man would react on seeing my burnt face. 

Mr & Mrs Martha took the picture and got it published in the English daily, “The Telegraph”. There were no phone calls, no visits and the days passed on. The little hope that I had in me was slowly reduced to ashes

.

It was on 8^th Dec 2012 there was a heavy knock at 10pm at night. A man in mid-thirties stood with unshaven beard and a hair that badly needed a cut and his shirt had several creases on it.

“Is the advertisement relates to this address, asked the man with wet eyes. Mrs Martha could only nod her head. The man ran towards me, hugged me, kissed me all over and said taking my hand in his hand, “It’s because of this ring that I found you .I had thought that I had lost you .I love you. Will you come back to your house,Shruti?”

As the CLOCK struck at midnight..

At the midnight, as the temperature rose a bit, I was suddenly awaken by the little sounds that I heard. In an unknown city among the unknown people I lay in my bed cold and shriven to realize what exactly was going around me. As my senses came to me slowly but steadily I realized that I was out of my hometown and was for the first time out of station to Delhi for work.

Suddenly a fear engulfed in my heart as the feeling of loneliness passed me. As the fear started me drowning down, I felt uncomfortable in my bed. I turned the other side just to change my mind set.

Then I saw her sleeping. There was a strange peace in her face. I imagined how she looked when she was about to board the train and was tensed about what was going to happen in Delhi. The tension and the stress seemed to fly off and I looked at her in the dim light.

For the first time in my life, I had come out of station for work and that too for sake of someone whom I dint knew that much. Neither was she my sister nor my friend but was my colleague. I felt that if I can go once with her to Delhi, I won’t face any problem in the near future when I had to travel alone to the capital.

Then the things had been quick. The tickets, the packing, the unloading, the guest house and ultimately the work for which we had been to Delhi. The day had been much faster than what we had imagined and the time seemed to run faster than the clock itself.

Amazed, astounded I looked at her again. She looked like the little kid who slept peacefully after completing all the homework. Suddenly there struck a feeling in my heart to take care of the lady who laid in the bed. A lady who was nothing more than a colleague became my friend at a moment.

I knew something for sure that a person who is having a peaceful heart has the biggest heart of love for any soul. I admired the people with patience and perfection. With the gush of thoughts in my heart, the fear was suddenly gone.

The peace was restored when I felt I not lonely any more. Whatever may happen this friend of mine is not going to leave me apart if I earned her friendship. I lay still in my bed with a blank mind & soon drowse off to sleep.